Positive Reinforcement

I could have minored in psychology, if my college had allowed minors, which it didn't. I took 7 of the 8 required classes. So, I know a little something about behavior modification. Everyone wants to feel good, to feel rewarded and appreciated. Its human nature.

In my house growing up, my sister got all the athletic ability. Walking across the floor without tripping was, and still is, a major feat for me. I was the nerdy one. I was sick a lot and had to stay indoors while she ran like the wind from daylight to dark. She was the only girl on her soccer team, she played basketball in high school and college (possibly junior high as well but I can't remember for sure) and she always did it with complete abandon, pigtails flying. Despite those very obvious differences - its tough to find common interests when you're moving in different environments - we grew to love and support each other as we approached adulthood. Basically, when we both got into college.

When I started on this journey two years ago she was one of the only people that I confided in. Because she "got it". She knew I wanted to feel better. I didn't care about how I looked. She knew I was doing it for me. And her support never wavered. Each week after I weighed in I could tell her that I'd only lost a few tenths of a pound but she always told me she was proud, and that was great, and was truly my best cheerleader. I had not actually told her my starting weight and I tried not to but it came up and I waffled and she said, flat out, "But I'm your biggest fan."

Last year about this time I signed up for my first 5K walk. She was one of the few people I called that morning. I asked her, the one-time marathon runner, how far 5K was. (I know, most people would ask that BEFORE they sign up!) She said it was a little over 3 miles. I commented that I normally walked a mile in 20 minutes so I expected it to take a little over an hour and I'd call her back. Her words to me - "Oh Dee, I'm sure you can do it faster than that." She was right. I crossed the line in about 48 minutes. Way better than I thought. She was the first person I called. And she was so excited for me. And it meant the world to me. I hadn't finished first, but I hadn't finished last. I did my best. I enjoyed myself. And I pushed myself to do one more thing for myself. And it felt wonderful!

Too often in today's world we look for instant gratification. We want something and we want it now. We hit the delete button if we don't like something we've written. Hit the reset button to start a video game over if it isn't going well. Taking control of your health isn't that fast. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Therefore it is important to find those things that make you feel good. Something, or someone, who will push you to that next level, but in a good way. A positive voice.

Maybe its a something. Maybe you make a plan to get a pedicure for those feet that went running every day for a week. Maybe you get a massage to unkink those muscles that lifted weights last week. Maybe a new, sassy pair of shoes to show off. A new hair style. A soak in a bubble bath. A reward of some kind for meeting a goal or achieving a milestone. Something to work towards that rewards you for your efforts.

We would never encourage an alcoholic to celebrate his or her sobriety markers with a margarita. Similarly, I would not encourage anyone struggling with weight issues to reward their hard work with a dessert or a treat. That's not to say you shouldn't allow yourself a sweet if you want it, but call it what it is - a part of that day's meal plan. It shouldn't be a reward because that becomes a bad habit and could eventually be the saboteur. It won't make you feel good about yourself if you go off on a sugar rush, then crash, or the scale goes up the next morning because you "rewarded" yourself with an ice cream cone.

I eat the occassional treat. I know I may pay for it the next day. But it is something that I wanted to include or planned for on that day. It wasn't something that I aimed for off in the future. Being honest with yourself is sometimes the hardest.

Positive reinforcment can come in lots of forms. You have to find what works for you. Your own motivator. I just hope it isn't food. I can think of a lot more appropriate rewards. So enjoy yourself on this journey. Give yourself something to look forward to that isn't going to be a step backwards.

Oh, and if I haven't said it lately - to my sister, Thanks. You're the best!