The Best of Intentions

I never intended for a post on May 1, 2011 to be the last one of the year. With this one, it won't be.

I became the "poster child" for what stress can do to you - physically, emotionally, all the "ally"s - this past year. For those that don't read the Random Thoughts blogs, my brother-in-law was killed in an accident on June 7, 2011. That single-second event changed our world in so many ways. Because Billy was gone so much helping his family, I had more to do here at home. Which meant less time for me. And once I got really out of my routine, that was it. And as the stress and strain of Life continued to mount, getting back into my routine was almost lost forever.

I checked my Wii calendar the other day and you could see it. Right before your eyes, in living color. January, February, March - never missed a day. The height of busy season but I was dedicated. At least to weighing myself and monitoring when I did get to exercise. In April, the only days I missed were those when I was in Washington DC becoming a certified fraud examiner and then one more that I can't figure out what I as going that day.

Missed a few more in May, but not many. In June, I missed the day of Dale's funeral, and then more towards the end of the month as Billy became busier.

In July, it was obvious. I barely made it at all. I never missed an entire month in the last six, but it got awfully close a couple of times. It appeared I turned on the Wii more out of guilt, or as an afterthought.

And it shows. I have a long road to hoe to get back where I was.

On the plus side, I have gotten healthy before and I can do it again. This time, though, the reasons are a little different. I will admit to a mild case of depression this summer and fall. I wasn't getting up and exercising because I was barely getting up in time to get to work. I didn't let it completely take over my life, but I did let it get to a very big part of it. Thing is, if I could have exercised, I know I would have felt better and helped combat some of that depression. But depression is very real and has its own agenda.

But I'm better. I'm doing the things I enjoy again, like writing and exercising and reading and so forth, but still not to the same level as before. But at least I'm not sitting and staring off into space. I am doing something.

As I tend to do, I look for opportunities for fresh starts. I've been on the Wii every day but one since last Sunday. Wanted to start again and come up with a new plan so I started on a Sunday - beginning of a new week.

And tomorrow is a new week, new month, new year.

An excellent opportunity to get on track and start working towards getthing healthier - both mentally and physically.

And I'll be looking to you all for support. Those are my intentions for the new year!

Happy, healthy, 2012!