Blamin' It On the Gummy Bears

They say the first step to solving a problem is to first admit you have one.

I love Gummy Bears.

There. I've said it.

I know there are no nutritional, redeeming values to Gummy Bears but they taste good, are fun to eat and make my mouth happy.

I'm also sentimental towards them. On our very first date Billy picked me up at my dorm at Hendrix with a teddy bear and a bag of Gummy Bears. And not just a convenience store bag either. This was one of those little white deli bags that he got from the candy counter on the third floor of Dillard's in North Little Rock.

In other words, he made an effort to get them for me.

I successfully, or so I thought, swore them off when I decided to take my insulin problem seriously. After all, if you're going to cut out sugar, Gummy Bears would seem to be an obvious choice.

I've done well for the last several years, even when Billy would bring them home and snack on them. And then it started.

And you know, once you start, it's hard to stop.

A couple of Bears turned into a few at a time. Which became a palmful. Which grew to a handful. Which morphed into "I can't get this fistful out of the bag without spilling a few!"

In other words, it got out of hand. Literally.

When Billy left last Sunday morning he left me with a full, unopened, bag. And not the little small bag either. The economy size.

So I ate them. A few when I'm come home to let the pack out. Few more at lunch. Again at dinner.

You get the picture.

Bag is empty now. Has been for several days. I won't be replacing it. And if Billy buys some I'll just have to say no. I did it for a long time. I can do it again.

No. Such a small word. Yet so powerful.

No, I will not sabotage myself and my successes.

No, I will not beat myself up for a bad choice.

No, I will not stop in the ongoing battle for a better me.

No, I will not love myself any less.

No, I will not let a setback have control of my progress.

Yes, I will go have a better day today.

And yes, I hope you do as well.