Checking In

Well, it's been a couple of weeks. I have really struggled. I've only managed to lose about 3 of the 8 eight pounds I needed to - just to get back to where I'd left off before. No vanity pounds, there.

I never underestimate the effects of stress on your body. Sometimes it can assist you making bad decisions, but it also does produce actual biological changes - including weight gain.

I've really been under the gun since my last trip to get one job out the door and another one started before my next trip. I worked the last 3 weekends and late every night this week but I will be delivering a draft audit report tomorrow on my big job and the other big one started on Tuesday. I have a really good staff person who can work fairly independently in certain areas and she's been clicking right along while I worked on the other audit. That really has helped a lot.

I had wanted to be back down at my "fighting weight" before we left on vacation Saturday but it hasn't worked. Vacations are opportunities for bad habits to rear their ugly heads so I wanted to at least have a running start! I will say, though, most years we get a lot of exercise on this trip. One year we walked 10 miles just in one day! So, that helps offset some of the late night eating of fried foods.

Like everything else in life, this is journey. Even if you reach the end of one road you have to make a decision - turn left, turn right, or turn around. So it never really ends.

And that's good. That means there is always something else I can be doing to make myself a better me. A healthier me.

Which I hope, and HOPE!, starts with a little less work, a lot less stress, and a little more opportunity to focus on what all is important in my world.

Blamin' It On the Gummy Bears

They say the first step to solving a problem is to first admit you have one.

I love Gummy Bears.

There. I've said it.

I know there are no nutritional, redeeming values to Gummy Bears but they taste good, are fun to eat and make my mouth happy.

I'm also sentimental towards them. On our very first date Billy picked me up at my dorm at Hendrix with a teddy bear and a bag of Gummy Bears. And not just a convenience store bag either. This was one of those little white deli bags that he got from the candy counter on the third floor of Dillard's in North Little Rock.

In other words, he made an effort to get them for me.

I successfully, or so I thought, swore them off when I decided to take my insulin problem seriously. After all, if you're going to cut out sugar, Gummy Bears would seem to be an obvious choice.

I've done well for the last several years, even when Billy would bring them home and snack on them. And then it started.

And you know, once you start, it's hard to stop.

A couple of Bears turned into a few at a time. Which became a palmful. Which grew to a handful. Which morphed into "I can't get this fistful out of the bag without spilling a few!"

In other words, it got out of hand. Literally.

When Billy left last Sunday morning he left me with a full, unopened, bag. And not the little small bag either. The economy size.

So I ate them. A few when I'm come home to let the pack out. Few more at lunch. Again at dinner.

You get the picture.

Bag is empty now. Has been for several days. I won't be replacing it. And if Billy buys some I'll just have to say no. I did it for a long time. I can do it again.

No. Such a small word. Yet so powerful.

No, I will not sabotage myself and my successes.

No, I will not beat myself up for a bad choice.

No, I will not stop in the ongoing battle for a better me.

No, I will not love myself any less.

No, I will not let a setback have control of my progress.

Yes, I will go have a better day today.

And yes, I hope you do as well.

I Need You!

Apparently part of my continued success depends on me talking to you.

All of you who are still out there.

I guess I need to think someone is watching and caring in order to stay on top of the weight loss. Whether anyone really is or not, I need to at least believe it.

I've used every excuse in the book the last couple of months - weddings, stress, vacations - and it shows.

Boy is it starting to show.

The Wii is most displeased with me and my handheld daily calorie tracker is now showing an upward trend and reporting how much I've gained (in RED!) instead of the daily (GREEN) number of pounds I've lost since I started using it.

I'm not happy people!

But, I lost this 7 pounds once and I'll lose it again. Hopefully for good this time.

So, stay with me!

Let's see if we can keep Losing It!